When
it comes to romance and the affairs of the bedroom, men make so many
mistakes they are not even aware. Here is all you need to know to
correct the mistakes.
When it comes to what women want in bed, men tend to make serious
avoidable mistakes like these. While you may give yourself pep talks
before a lazy encounter or pat yourself on the back after a great time
in bed, don't be too smug about knowing what women want.
A recent survey suggests that most men are not the skillful lovers
they think themselves to be. When it comes to the fundamentals, men tend
to make some serious mistakes in the sack. Here are the 10 avoidable
ones.
1. Silent play
No matter the circumstances, most men tend to be eerily silent
during the entire act. You may think that's fine, but this makes your
woman feel alienated. It makes her wonder if she's actually pleasuring
you. There's no need to exaggerate your feelings, but you can let your
partner know you're enjoying her company in a genuine way. The
occasional moans and groans are not such a bad thing.
2. Foreplay is not a means to an end
Most men tend to breeze through it — the effortless kissing here
and caressing there, as they undress. But in too much anticipation of a
great act, you may appear desperate to begin. And that won't score you
any brownie points in the long run. Take it slowly. Enjoy every aspect
of the encounter as you get to know the woman you are with. Women enjoy a
well-paced build-up — the making-out, the undressing, the reciprocal
oral s*x. This will also lead to a more fulfilling encounter. And
perhaps, a standing invitation for more.
3. Forget the big O
Besides, when you approach s*x with a clear focus on only reaching
an orgasm, you may lose sight of the path to the climactic moment. Don't
pressure yourself, or your partner, to hit the finish line as quickly
as possible. Rather than rush it, why not enjoy the experience as a
whole. You'll prolong your pleasure, and your partner will feel like
she's with a guy who actually knows what he's doing. The conclusion,
though delayed, will be a lot more satisfying for both.
4. Avoid the licking
Performing oral sex on a woman means quick licks at the labia
majora, followed by brief, orgasm-inducing penetration with your tongue.
However, while that may seem enticing, the labial tonguelashing is not a
technique that docs recommend.
5. The fingers carefully
Although digital penetration is considered a normal part of
foreplay, some guys get overeager and, confuse their fingers for
penises. As a result, they finger their partners with a vigour reserved
for s*x. This also reflects that they have no clue what a woman wants,
which is why they have resolved to go hard and fast. Instead, you should
aim for a more measured approach; make her get used to the feel of your
fingers as you gradually insert more of them. There's room for
intensity, but a little nuance will surely take you a long way.
6. Sensitise to her wants
If you think that simply pounding away at a woman during s*x is a
major turn-on, you are wrong. Yet, many men convinced that it will
ultimately bring their partners to orgasm. But women are sensitive
souls. They appreciate nuance, feeling and deep emotion. So, rather than
thrusting away from beginning to end, you'll want to vary your speed
throughout s*x. Gauge your partner's response, take it as a lead and
simply go with the flow. If she asks you to go harder, oblige. But if
the moment calls for it, go slowly. The key is to sensitise yourself to
what she wants, and not what you want.
7. Go easy with the clitoris
Women enjoy the clitoral stimulation than any sort of penetration.
So never ignore her clitoris. Yet, at the same time, don't treat it like
a scratch card and rub relentlessly in order to make your partner
climax. Remember, the clitoris is extremely sensitive, so too much force
can actually prove painful.
8. Keep her entire body in mind
When you have s*x, you aim to pleasure the woman you are with. So
it makes sense that many guys focus on the one or two sensitive areas of
her body like the neck or thighs. However, the next step is not to look
for other ways to please her. Though this notion is understandable, it
is also incredibly short-sighted. The law of diminishing returns applies
everywhere — even in the bedroom. If you've worked her neck for a
while, move down to her breasts. And you may not want to focus heavily
on her clitoris. Overstimulation can sometimes prove unpleasant. So keep
things varied. As the age-old adage goes, variety is the spice of life.
9. Rough now, but be sweet later
There's nothing wrong with a little roughness if it's consensual.
But you should never take it too far (no one wants to leave the bedroom
in need of medical attention) and you should always remember to show
some compassion afterward. When it's all over, make sure you pay
attention to her immediate needs, which will likely mean some snuggling
and cuddling.
10. Don't stress about the G-Spot
The location of the G-Spot (Grafenberg Spot), has long eluded men.
It is widely understood to be a couple of inches up the anterior vaginal
wall, between the vaginal opening and the urethra. Your search will
probably be less scientific, once you've inserted your fingers into her
vagina, curl them as though you were asking someone to come toward you;
the spot you're looking for will feel rippled. But don't let that
elusive area become the be-all, end-all of your s*x life.
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